Burning Ring of Fire

I once shot a man in Reno because he stole my pie. True story. It was pumpkin, and I take my pumpkin pies seriously.

The Vitality of Spring

Spring is such a lovely time of the year. It's a time of rebirth and color, of pastels and almost forgotten vitality. Green and leafy trees casting their shade over cool, fresh grass. Forgotten flowers poking up through the dirt. New life arising from the fallen needles and bleak, dead ground of yesteryear. Shorts and flip-flops come out; pale skin recedes. Pleasant weather; the golden lick of the sun against your cold skin like that of a long lost dog. Truly, it is a magical time.

That is unless you are effected by those "seasonal allergies." Then each new tree is a threat. Each blooming flower an enemy agent. The beautiful clouds of yellow flowing with the breeze represent a tangible assault against your eyes and your nose. You sneeze. Your eyes water. Your nose runs. And you curse those little yellow things that cover everything in a thin, pastel layer.

And then you think about just what exactly that yellow stuff is. And your mind recalls 8th grade biology, yet is that of an adult who knows the finer points in life. And you see it for what it really is. Tree semen.


Talk about love being in the air.

Reverse Immigration

Here's an idea. In the wake of the global financial meltdown, jobs are a hot commodity. The American model of free enterprise and bootstrap pulling is just becoming a grind, and working those long hours for meager pay and two weeks of vacation is just too odious. Especially when you look across that little stretch of water to a far off continent in the sunrise. A land of fine food, social security, leisure, universal health care, diversity, and six weeks of vacation per year. The appeal is strong.

So, with that in mind, I begin my quest across the sea to the land of my ancestors. They came to America looking for a brighter future. They found it. And now, I am returning to my ancestral land in search of my brighter future. That is my plan, and these are my chronicles.

Through the woodlands through the prairies comes a horseman wild and free...

Don Quijote to the rescue! My role model and personal hero.

The Bare Freedoms

When we think of Switzerland, we think of pristine landscapes and conservative, friendly people. And chocolate, cheese, watches, knives, and neutrality. But there is growing tension in paradise. Yes, nude hiking is starting to cause a stir. The hills are full of flesh. And the older, more conservative Swiss simply won't stand for it. Small mountain communities are pushing for a ban on the institution saying that it disturbs the peace and serenity. Needless to say, the issue will be regulated and counter-arguments will be made. (Fortunately, legal scholars feel that a law banning non-sexual nudity would be unconstitutional).

Just to make your day a little lighter. At least you don't have to worry about stumbling upon naked hikers when you're off on a hike. Or you'll feel safe that your freedom to flaunt yourself will not be impeded.

The Virtues of Science Fiction

I wrote this on July 20, 2008 at Machu Picchu in Peru:

Sci-fi, when used to this purpose, can exceed "classic" literature's ability to test and explore the wide and diverse concept of humanity.

I often wonder why science fiction is not really looked on as "good" literature. It can delve into the human psyche just as well as anything else. Better even; the situations in sci-fi are completely malleable, so the author can put people in any situation to show and explore that side of the human condition. Just look at Arthur C. Clarke's 2001: A Space Odessy. Very probably plot with some unfortunate twists exploring the limits of humanity. HAL's obsession with the mission over all else and Dave Bowman's persistan human angle. Or my favorite book, Contact. Carl Sagan explores what making contact with extraterrestrials would mean for the planet. I love the book beacause it is so well written and even better thought out. It is a very accurate portrayal (no Hollywood firefights here) of what could, might, and I think would happen.

Are we really that petty?

The New York Post's political cartoon that criticizes the economic stimulus package has been taken to a new and overblown level. Civil rights activist groups take this monkey to be a symbol for President Obama. And that this is a racial slur, rather than the more obvious, less offensive, and perfectly sensible critique that the package was, in fact, written by a monkey. Come on. We're in the 21st century. The sort of thinking, epitomized by Al Sharpton's reaction, is counterproductive. We're trying to move beyond race. We have a minority president. He's also brilliant, considerate, eloquent, and a beacon of hope. But we still think of him as our first black president, not our 44th president. We need to move beyond such distinctions and just grow up. This is a critique of legislation, not a dig at our president's race.

Addendum, 20 February 2009: After discussing this issue with my friends, I will have to admit that I do not know the New York Post's publishing history nor the comic's past comics. Upon being corrected, I am forced to admit that this comic was intended to take a cheap and immature dig at race, rather than a criticism of the economic stimulus plan. I am saddened that we still live in an age where a person's race or gender is attacked, rather than his idea.